


slow motion (11:59)

by revengeavenue



Series: blondie x frerard [6]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Concept of Time, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, Existentialism, Fluff and Angst, M/M, time is a concept created by humanity lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengeavenue/pseuds/revengeavenue
Summary: At the top of the roller coaster, Gerard realized something.





	slow motion (11:59)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by two blondie songs: slow motion and 11:59. check them out!

At the top of the roller coaster, Gerard realized something.

There were so many moments like that one, but none quite as significant to him. This time was different; everything felt frozen in place. He felt unmovable before the coaster dropped and turned him and Frank upside down. Gerard wished that he could have something to show for those tiny moments - cloudy mental images were the only thing he had to prove that they were real. It wasn't nearly enough proof for him.

He realized that he would forget so many things, that they would be lost forever in time and never be recorded. Perhaps this realization should have made everything seem insignificant at best, yet that wasn't the case for Gerard. It only made him want to hold his memories closer than he previously did, for they were precious and he couldn't risk losing them. Everything meant all too much; he couldn't help being so sentimental.

If only Gerard could truly slow time down during the moments he wanted to enjoy the most, and fast forward through the ones that meant nothing to him. It would never be that easy, because the best times would almost always pass by with the blink of an eye, and the bad ones always seemed to stick around for longer than necessary. Gerard hopelessly desired the ability to alter his perception of time somehow - it would solve a lot of his problems.

He never felt like he lived in the moment. Even at the top of the roller coaster, time was still there, and it wouldn't slow down or pause for anyone or anything. The little realization he had was fleeting, so ridiculously temporary in the way it zoomed past his eyes. Time didn't care about him, and Gerard was foolish to think that it ever would.

But it had frozen right before the drop, hadn't it? He swore it did. The cloudy images he had in his mind of Frank's smiling face and the wide expanse of the amusement park below were still very much there. When he closed his eyes, that was all he could see. Time hadn't truly frozen, Gerard knew that, but somehow, it seemed like it had.

When the ride was over, the adrenaline slowly ran out of their bodies, and they were brought back down to earth once more. Frank noticed the unnamed type of look on Gerard's face, so he took his hand and squeezed it to reassure him. It usually worked, but the look remained on his face.

 _Distant_. Frank had seen that face many times before, perhaps it was the one look that ever really worried him when it came to Gerard. He started to steer him in the direction of a bench underneath the shade of a blooming cherry blossom, the bench and surrounding area littered with pink petals. It was a quiet little corner of the world, perfect for the two of them.

Gerard sat down reluctantly, looking at Frank with confusion. "Frank, why-"

"What's wrong? Did that ride shake you up too much... or..." Frank trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"Oh, no. Not at all. I just... I'm frustrated for a stupid reason." Gerard wondered if it really mattered, or it if made any sense outside of his own head. He observed his hands, for no reason other than to avoid looking Frank in the eyes. He felt so silly.

Frank knew better than to leave it at that, so he began to pry. "But why? It's obviously important if it's upsetting you."

Gerard drew out a breath, picking up some pink petals and toying with them. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to remember everything I experience, all the moments... significant or not. I'm worried that I'll just forget, that my memories will always be... cloudy," he confessed, as he ripped up the delicate petals in his hands.

"Hey, listen Gee. I can relate to how you feel, because I've felt like that too." Frank reached over and took his hand, causing the shreds of pink cherry blossom petals to fall to the ground. "You wanna know how I deal with it?"

Gerard met his eyes, and the frustrated tears that were once welling in his own had seemed to vanish. "How?"

"I think of it like this. Everyone dies one day, and yet we have no idea what happens to us when we die. I'd like to think we get to replay certain moments, that we're shown all the moments we want to see again. Maybe they'll come in little flashbacks, or maybe they'll be much more surreal than that. We have no way of knowing." Frank stopped and squeezed Gerard's hand for emphasis. "Just know that all you've experienced is out there somewhere. The universe won't forget anything, even if you do."

Maybe Frank's words wouldn't change everything, but they certainly helped push Gerard's mind in the right direction. He looked at the petals on the ground, then up at the tree they came from, and smiled slowly. "That... that's such a positive way of thinking about it. I sometimes wish I thought like you do," Gerard said.

Frank laughed. "No, you don't! I'm as much of a mess as you are, I just hide it better."

Gerard felt the smile spreading, and a blush dusting his cheeks. "You're probably right."

-

That night, Gerard had trouble sleeping. He couldn't help but think about the words Frank said, and what they meant. They meant a lot to Gerard, especially as the clock ticked, approaching midnight.

Frank was fast asleep beside him; Gerard envied his peaceful slumber. He couldn't stop thinking, his mind fixated on pondering the concept of time. He knew there was nothing he could do to change it, but somehow, trying to figure it out made him feel a little bit better.

The digital clock changed every sixty seconds before Gerard's eyes - bright, angry red numbers taunting him. Eleven fifty-eight turned into eleven fifty-nine, and a new day was on the rise. Somewhere in those sixty seconds before midnight, he found peace.

Gerard came to realize that if he just lived without worrying about the clock, everything would even out. Hopefully he would get the chance to relive moments somehow, someday. They were out there somewhere, for the universe would never forget.


End file.
